Be A Better Spouse Day 14

Challenge #14: Ask for what you need

There's no way for us to avoid communication issues in a month of being a better spouse. Of course, communication generally involves two or more people, but there are a few things that you can address on your own that can really help support a positive environment.

I'm the queen of wanting my husband to automatically know what I need and then punishing him when he doesn't figure it out. My rationale is that he should know by now, which, on one hand is fair, but then again, on the other really isn't.

Better, I should take it upon myself to say what I need. What a concept! Don't wish. Don't whine. Don't assume. Just ask.

I'm not necessarily talking about stuff - like "a new pair of shoes" or "a glass of water" but rather your emotional and physical needs.

"I'm feeling really overwhelmed with everything. Let's figure out a way that we can make things work a little better."

Talk about your feelings and be collaborative. You are a team, after all. And you just can't assume that he's going to read your mind. Or somehow be able to do it after a certain amount of time.

Be A Better Spouse Day 13

Challenge #13: Reach out and touch that someone
After being slobbered on all day from Kiley's kisses and my hair being pulled, I'm so used to holding a baby all day that I forget about my husband.

Cheesy, perhaps. But important to do. And I'm not talking about the sexy touch! I'm just talking about a hand on the shoulder, a squeeze of the hand or a kiss.

It's not only good for your relationship, but it's good for the kids to see too.

Be A Better Spouse Day 12

Challenge #12: Tech Turn Off

With all the gadgets we've got around our house, it's rare that we ever have a night when we're not using something. I usually have a laptop in my lap while I'm watching television at night(Agree with Kristen here, so much!)

You may not be able to do this tonight, for whatever reason, but I encourage you to establish a tech turn off night with your spouse. Pick a day and decide to not have any gadgets on - television, computers, phones, you name it.

It's also a good idea to have this during the hours of 5-8pm, or something like that. As much as I love technology it's important to have time during the day and/or at night when you're focusing on each other and/or on your kids without distraction.

Good luck!

You Know Your Mom When..

You are working out and you used to listen to music like this:

And now you are listening to this, to keep your child occupied while you run:

Bargins This Week

Here are some printable coupons/freebies I've come across this past week on other blogs/inter-web!

$5.00 off any Little Tykes Purchase of $30.00 or more

Free Aveeno Hair Care Products

Free Fiber Choice Sample(Bottom of page)

1.00 off Ghiradelli Chocolate(Need to like their Facebook page)

3.00 off 1 Huggies Diapers(Can print this twice)

Check Out Berly's Thoughts!

A friend of mine is having an awesome give away on her blog, Berly's Thoughts. She is a Lia Sophia Independent Sales Advisor! Check it out!

I LOVE this ring:

Be A Better Spouse Day 11

Challenge #11: The Feeling Formula

Now, like a lot of this, it's super simple to read, a lot harder to implement. But the results can be pretty amazing.

When you're bringing up an issue, or having a discussion or even an argument, always start with "I."

So for example:

"I feel hurt when you forget to call me when you're going to be late."

or

"I feel frustrated when you continue to leave your underwear on the floor and I have to pick them up all the time."

Instead of starting with "you," which can instantly put someone on the defensive, you're discussing your feelings first. It's kinder, gentler, and much more effective.

Once you get the formula down, you can play with it so you don't sound like you're spouting off a formula. But when I remember to stick to this, or in the least, talk about how I'm feeling in response to what he is or isn't doing as opposed to calling him out all the time, it really does make a huge difference.

Weight Loss

This month issue of Runner's World, had an awesome article on The Golden Rules of Weight Loss, you can read the entire article here.

One of the parts of the article that I really found to be true was the section on Rushing Weight Loss. A lot of us go trying to be healthier , lose weight and expect changes right away. Unfortunately it takes our body time to adjust to these new changes. A lot of us, including my self get upset when we don't immediately see changes.

The article says our bodies need 3 months to train your brain to make a habit, you need three months to get used to reading labels at grocery stores and learn how to plan your meals and shop.

Quick fix diets, don't work. I have never been a believer of those types of diets, because they always leave out nutrients that your bodies needs.

There are pretty common mistakes, I my self have been guilty(some of them) of when trying to lose weight, such as:

1. Making Food Taste Good-Like the article says, when people go on diets, they automatically think that they need to eat grilled chicken with broccoli and that's not the case, because your body starts to CRAVE sweets like ice cream and salty foods like chips. One thing I do is I never stop my self from eating something because I'm dieting, I eat whatever I want, but just need to be in control of how much is going in your mouth.
2. Keep Fine Tuning the Plan-Sometimes we get an injury from working out, so re-adjust and come back when you are strong again. Recently I injured my foot running, I've been taking the past two weeks off, but I'm still exercising, doing other things to raise my heart rate.
3. Don't Give Up-Just because you've eaten something extra, don't think it's ok, to be "bad" the rest of the day. I definitely have been guilty of this. But I've learned it's ok to eat a little to much of something, just watch your calories the rest of the day and move on. Let it go.

Remember you are the only one who can control your weight loss!

Be A Better Spouse Day 10

Challenge #10: Let them [your spouse] parent

This might be the most challenging assignment yet.

Okay, who am I kidding? These are all hard. But this one is really tough for me.( I couldn't agree more with Kristen)

Like most of us, I learned how to parent by trial and error, and I can't even imagine what it would be like to have someone tell me I was doing something wrong all the time.

I never have a problem leaving Kiley with Chris while I go out(when I get that chance =0) But as soon as I hear her crying while he's trying to get her down for a nap, or any other time I come running. When I do it as well as Kristen said I know I shouldn't have done it and should of just let him figure out it, because he can do it! He's an awesome Daddy to Kiley!

On the flip side, this does take a lot of communication on both your parts so that both of you are aware of your discipline methods, schedules, rewards, and consequences. But it's so important for your partner/spouse/husband to be able to parent on his own.

Mamarazzi

I've been slacking on Mamarazzi post, but here is this weeks:

This weeks photo op was to get a picture of your little one while they are eating. To capture that look on their face when they taste something, whether it's new or something they like, whatever the expressions, let the face be messy!

So here is Miss. Kiley and her new silly smile, that is super cute, while she ate her fruit medley and oatmeal this morning!

Be A Better Spouse Day 9

Challenge #9: Change your definition of equal

It's frustrating when you see yourself do "xxxx" and him do "x" (or hey, maybe it's vice versa). It's not necessarily a negative thing if you feel as though you're being appreciated for all your hard work or that there are times when you're only giving "x" and he's picking up the slack.

If you're always feeling as though you're bearing the brunt of the relationship and not being adequately supported or rewarded, then it might be time to have a discussion.

So, think about how you define equal and what the "split" is in your house? Are you okay with that or is there something that needs to change?

Be A Better Spouse Day 8

Challenge #8: Pick your battles

Life's too short and time is too precious to beat ourselves and our spouses up about stupid meaningless crap, or that one stupid thing they said.

There are tons of things that go on that don't need my time or energy, nor are they worthy of a battle.

A good tip is to try not to react immediately. Take a minute or five and then decide. And if it's still bothering you, address in matter of factly. Leave the emotion out. Or do what I do and make a joke about it. Sometimes that goes over well and can make both of you lighten up.

So we're a week into the challenge! How's it going?

Be A Better Spouse Day 7

Challenge #4: Make a pledge of [mutual] respect.

Call it what you will - honor code, family pledge, whatever (or don't call it anything at all), but take a few minutes to create a short list of how you will treat each other. Here are a few prompts:

1. How or when will you fight? Disagree?

2. How will you speak to each other?

3. Any "code" words, signs, messages that you can give so that the other knows to back off?

Take a bit to think about what kind of atmosphere you want to promote in your home. What example do you want to set for your kids?

Then realize that you are the ones in charge of how people are treated in your home. And I'd say invite your spouse to participate in this one. If you'd prefer not to, then pledge it to yourself. And then share it here!

Friday Weigh In

I forgot to post on Friday, but like I said in my In Control Post, I would only be posting my weight loss/exercise's on Friday's.

So this week, down 2 pounds!!

Exercise's this week-
Monday-Run/Walk-60 minutes, 15 minutes of weights
Tuesday-30 minute Boot Camp
Wednesday-Because I injured my foot Monday I didn't do any walking/running, I did 15 minutes of weights, and 30 minutes of Jillian
Thursday-Boot camp
Friday-Rest Day
Saturday-Rest Day
Sunday-Baby Yoga with Kiley and 1.9 mile walk

Eating wise I did really good this week, well not including dinner last night(we went out), but I did well considering we went out!

Be A Better Spouse Day 6

Challenge #6: Say goodnight

Share a kiss, an embrace. But definitely make sure that even if you're going to bed before or after him, end the day with a well wish of some kind. It's a wonderful way to end a good day and it really does seem to wash away all the trials and tribulations of a bad one.

Small Bits

• Kiley has mastered the pincer grip! She can now pick up her little puffs with her thumb and index finger! So cute!
• She is now sleeping 9-7. Napping about 9-11, and then 3-4:30(afternoon nap is a little weird, sometimes she sleeps long other days not so long), then she likes to snuggle and take a small snooze on Daddy around 7:45ish.
• She sleeps just like me, on her belly but yet on her side.
• Of course I get back into working out and running and I got an injury. On Monday of this week, I decided since I didn't work out over the weekend I should run/walk for an hour on Monday, well I did something to the side of my left foot, I'm assuming it's a tendon issue, so I'm going to take about 2 weeks off from running and just do other exercises.

What's going on in your world?

Be A Better Spouse Day 5

qChallenge #5: What's your best mode of communication?

Take a few minutes and figure out what works best for you - phone calls, emails, or maybe you're good at regular old conversation. Once you determine what's best, use it to your advantage.

When it comes to fights (particularly if you've done it in front of the kids), I think it's important to apologize in front of the kids. But if you feel more comfortable hashing it out via an email, why not?

And just because everyone thinks that you should be able to tell your husband about your day in person and not via a text, doesn't mean that it has to work for you. I get a much more attentive response when I text my husband a picture of the kids or a quick message"Guess what Margot did today" than if I try to do it in person.

Better A Better Spouse

Challenge #4: Do Something Together

It could be something as simple as watching a show together without the distraction of technology. Or it could be finding something like a hobby, a project, heck, even a meal. You might have to be the one to go out of your way to engage in something that he enjoys. Or, if you've got a willing partner, come up with something that you'd both like to do together.

But it needs to be something just for you two.

This past weekend we watched a movie together, no baby, no computer =)

Be A Better Spouse Day 3

Challenge #3: Remember the good stuff

Take some time to write down all the wonderful things about your spouse that made you fall in love in the first place.

Here are a couple of mine:

1. Sense of humor.
2. Smart

So, do your best to separate the stupid shit (yep, that's a technical term right there) from the person you married. This might be super hard or really easy. I'm curious to hear which it is for you.

Be A Better Spouse Day #2

Challenge #2: Accept them for who they are

There are just some things about my husband that I just know I won't be able to change.

Like:

No matter how many times I ask, tell him, to do it, he just doesn't put the hamper lid on the hamper!

For some reason, I'm very picky about the salt & pepper and butter dish being in the right spot after using them and he loves to leave them on the table, again, no matter how many times I tell him to put them back!

I just have to accept the fact that me telling him over and over again, isn't going to make him change and I have to accept that!

I just have to do what I want him to do, if he isn't going to do it!

In Control

The tittle of the post should probably be back in control. Back in control of getting on the right track to eating healthy and exercising. As most of my readers know before I got pregnant I was on a weight loss journey, lost about 60 pounds, got pregnant put on 30, right after pregnancy dropped 25 pounds, put back on 15 pounds. Why? Not sure, did I exercise, yes, I trained and ran a freaking 5k people!! But, did I keep my calories in check and eat correctly? Nope, no way, totally guilty.

Holidays came and went my friends, we all know how troublesome they are. Then I had the attitude well I worked out today I can eat this, or this is my reward for doing this today. Which I totally KNOW isn't ok, it isn't how to keep the weight off. So I found my self again, starting over, getting back on track. They say it takes about 14 days for your body to get used to a change, so I'm on day 7, but I feel totally in control again. I can do this, and I WILL do this. This is it!

Exercise and eating healthy are a HUGE part of life. I want Kiley seeing Chris and I eating healthy and exercising everyday so that she grows up thinking it's just a part of a life, not something you do to make you feel and look better.

So every week, I will be starting to do my weekly weigh in's, on Friday. I'm not going to do an everyday update of what I ate/exercised(like I've done in the past), just weekly. I am a Mommy now, and have no time to keep track of that and post it on here!

Plus I'm sure, you'd like to see pictures of Kiley way more then what I ate and what exercises I did every day =)

Be A Better Spouse Challenge

I love this blog. Simple, easy to read. Funny stories. Recently she posted Being A Better Spouse Challenge and I figured I'd take a look into it. It seemed like something fun to do. While Chris and I have a wonderful marriage, there are still parts of every marriage that can always use some work,, keeping our marriage going as healthy as it has been going.

We get involved in our every day lives, such as taking care of the kiddos, jobs, friends, families. We have a baby, yes as she gets older, like Kristen says in her blog, it gets easier, but when having a kid, you start to forget about you and your spouse, because you are both enthralled with this wonderful little human being.

As Kristen states definitely make your spouse aware you are doing this, maybe they will want to participate as well.

So challenge one,
#1- Let bygones, be bygones-

As Kristen states, and I couldn't figure out a way to say it better:

But all that stupid shit that he did that you've been tallying up over the years - the time he came home late, the idiotic thing he said at dinner, bla bla bla - let it go. They are hurting not helping your relationship.

Write them down and burn them. Throw them away. Type them in an email and delete it.

Start this month with a clean slate.

If he does that stuff today, or tomorrow. Fine, we'll deal with all that during this month.

But right now, wipe it clean.

For one, all the energy and brain power you're using to hold on to those things and remember them can be used elsewhere.

And also, it's more effective to identify the pattern, theme, or core issue - what those things might have in common - and address them as a whole, rather than beat him up over a series of small things.

CSN Stores

Have you checked out CSN stores lately? They have some great office desks. I recently bought some items from there and here is my review on them.

The first item I got was this absolutely adorable Rainbow Colored Ice Cream Cones. Kiley is only 7 months but she LOVES playing with these. We love to pass them to each other as I tell her the colors. How cute are these?
Kiley loves to play with balls. That's her favorite part of going to The Little Gym. She loves playing with her pink ball at home. So I decided this little ball with the people's heads popping out(weird, huh) would be fun! It's called the Wonder World Peek-A-Boo Ball. Not to mention, it's wood, so it's SO durable. Babies eat EVERYTHING as we know.

Help Vote For Kate and William's Wedding Cake!

With the world eagerly following the crowning of a new princess, you might say Kate Middleton has a lot on her plate. From finding the right dress to finalizing the 3,000 person guest list, to selecting the perfect cake, it seems as if this bride could use a little help! Betty Crocker decided to help the royal couple by offering four Royal Wedding Cake Designs to choose from for their special day. Inspired by the traditional British wedding saying "something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue, Help Kate by voting for your favorite Royal Wedding Cake at BettyCrocker.com, get a taste of royalty by casting your vote! Voting ends March 18, with the winning cake to be announced on March 23. Brought to you by: My Blog Spark

Kiley is 7 months!

Kiley is 7 months today!!

You aren't crawling yet, little girl, but soon! You still have all the motions you just can't cooridnate them together. You are rolling everywhere to get to stuff. You are so much more vocal, you like to randomly scream happy screams in the grocery store at people and see what their reaction will be! You can stand up pretty well if you are holding on to something, you love to stand! You are getting very ticklish. You are really ticklish underneath your chin, but your little piggie toes are getting ticklish as well as your belly. You finally love going to swim class, I still think you love the little gym a bit more with all your little girlfriends!

When you jump in your jumparoo you are starting to get some air!! You have discovered many things you shouldn't be this month, so we had to baby proof, like a pen you got a hold of while rolling and decided to draw on your face, or the WII games, or even the TV cords! Silly girl, what makes you think that stuff would be fun for babies?

You are eating everything we give you, you aren't picky at all, well except yogurt, that you don't have a taste for yet! You love the little puffs as well and your baby Mum Mum cookies! You love eating your feet and and taking your sock off.
No teeth yet, we are still waiting! You are still sleeping through the night like a champ! I love that! You love sitting up in your big girl stroller now without your car seat! You are finally napping twice a day in your crib! You definitely have a bit of separation anxiety, you get really worried when I walk out of the room, but that's ok!
I love seeing all your new personality traits that come out every month! Love you Miss. Kiley!

Happy 7 months Big Girl!!

Give Away

As most of my readers know, I love to cook and bake. I was super excited when the folks at Mizkan sent me two awesome packages of recipes book and coupons for items I use! So I thought I'd share one of them with a lucky blog reader! I love Mizkan's Holland House Cooking Wines. I use them in a lot of the Italian dishes I make. So what do you win with this give away? You get a 28 page recipe book from the Holland House line, also a 7 additional recipes with a $1.00 coupon, 9 recipes and 2- $1.00 coupon for their World Harbor line, and 7 recipes and $1.00 coupon off any natural or seasoned rice vinegar from their Nakano line.


So what do you need to do to enter? It's simple, leave a comment telling me you're favorite go to dish. Leave a comment on twitter and get two additional entries!

Good Luck! Contest ends Friday, January 28.

Products brought to you by Mizkan.