We get involved in our every day lives, such as taking care of the kiddos, jobs, friends, families. We have a baby, yes as she gets older, like Kristen says in her blog, it gets easier, but when having a kid, you start to forget about you and your spouse, because you are both enthralled with this wonderful little human being.
As Kristen states definitely make your spouse aware you are doing this, maybe they will want to participate as well.
So challenge one,
#1- Let bygones, be bygones-
As Kristen states, and I couldn't figure out a way to say it better:
But all that stupid shit that he did that you've been tallying up over the years - the time he came home late, the idiotic thing he said at dinner, bla bla bla - let it go. They are hurting not helping your relationship.
Write them down and burn them. Throw them away. Type them in an email and delete it.
Start this month with a clean slate.
If he does that stuff today, or tomorrow. Fine, we'll deal with all that during this month.
But right now, wipe it clean.
For one, all the energy and brain power you're using to hold on to those things and remember them can be used elsewhere.
And also, it's more effective to identify the pattern, theme, or core issue - what those things might have in common - and address them as a whole, rather than beat him up over a series of small things.